Category: marriage

I really had this vision that our 30th anniversary would be a golden glowing year for Gary and I. Then one of our children landed in the hospital. With a mental disorder. A golden 30th didn’t happen. It was a false notion to begin with.  I thought of this nifty project to interview 30 couples who had been married more than 30 years. Maybe I would hear something that would inspire and reignite me. I…

As you would expect, the Naval Academy environment was competitive. I don’t think I really understood or appreciated how to have friends and deep relationships with people different from me without feeling the need to compare and compete. Gary was surely my training ground. When I made the promise to have and to hold when it came the “for worse” part I wasn’t thinking about “how worse” I could be, I was only thinking about…

  A promise. A vow. A pledge. It isn’t new to feel compelled to take extra steps beyond your spoken word to ensure the security of a promise. In today’s culture, a pinky promise, is the entwining of the pinkies of two people to signify that a promise has been made. Jesus had to tell his culture that they didn’t need to add to their promises to make them more valid. Matthew 5: 33-37 “And…

This short piece is one part of my personal morning routine. You can read the whole article by subscribing to my blog. When I got my married, Gary and I made some agreements.  We made a commitment to practice going to sleep and waking up at the same time. For over 30 years that habit has been a daily practice that has been an anchor for our marriage. Having nine children, has presented many obstacles…

Conversation before marriage: Gary: How do you want to set up our bank accounts? Do you want separate or joint accounts? Mary: Let’s make them joint accounts so we can talk together!     Conversation after marriage: Gary: I don’t see a recording for this check #. Can you tell me what that is about? Mary: I don’t want to talk about it.