A crucial conversation is a discussion between two or more people where
(1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong
and the outcome impacts their lives. Sounds like marriage doesn’t it.
Here are a couple of classic conversation malfunctions between Gary and I.
Phone call
I am at home. It’s the end of a long day.
Gary is on the other end trying to drive home in DC traffic.
Gary harmlessly says something.
I am split-tasking, miss half of it and dive into being irritated that what I thought was going to happen didn’t. Next thing I am unable to hear anything he says in a decent light.
It becomes on my end, a flurry of half words and totally garbled mess.
This one occasion in particular right in the middle of my stinking thinking, Gary disrupted me by saying, “I love you. I’m crazy about you.”
It was the parachute opening to my free fall dive. Gary showed up as his best version even if I didn’t.
Text message
I am out of town during a late winter storm that is causing thousands of flights to cancel and flying back home really late.
I am just including the pictures because maybe you can relate to my ugly real deal.
I am wondering if we should just go back to letter-writing. Here is my best solution. Work on me first. Working on me first doesn’t me working on him second. It means work on me first and work on me second and work on me third and keep working on me. It is a never ending fight to be the best version you can be so that even in the midst of stinking thinking in our conversations we can course correct, forgive and get back up again.