Did you see the movie? On a Friday night last spring with Gary and 3 of the manboys in our house we went to see it. Loved it… It was tough to watch at times but between being a graduate from the Naval Academy in the first years of women attending and being stationed in the Philippines where I lived in the same Bachelor’s Officer Quarters as a deployed SEAL team-I was prepped :-). There is an incredible sense of awe on my part for what a man is able to sacrifice for his code, for his beliefs. So I think of course of the sacrifice one man, in particular, has paid these past 25 years in order to provide the kind of life and love he has given to at least 10 people. Let me tell you about some of the acts of valor, my Gary has performed.1. Welcoming children. If you don’t know us well, let me tell you… Gary is the cautious one. He is the thoughtful one. Yet in the midst of being the one who is always thinking of impacts and outcomes, he more than me has operated on faith in believing that God’s command and promise to be fruitful and multiply are true. Like the SEALS, this has been a man who have run to the battle not run from the confusion. No retreat in 25 years.
2. Saying goodbye- Some might think my encounter with two cancers was hardest on me but frankly, I think it is hardest on those who stand by and watch. Gary came very close to losing his wife and although I only experienced a few hours of consideration of losing a spouse (on 9/11… a different post) he got to live it for several months. But even with all that, it was only the threat of goodbye. I remember with great clarity calling Gary from the doctor’s office back in September of 1997. I had already gone through one round of chemo and I was being cared for by a perinatologist for our 7th child that I was carrying. I just knew that it was best to tell Gary straight. “Gary, there is no heartbeat on the ultrasound. ” In the midst of saying goodbye to our seventh child.. Gary showed the depth of his feeling. To be able to cry with a man, that is the highest honor and trust I feel I have been given. Raphe. – means my God heals. children, cancer, death.. Through it all No regrets
3. Dying many deaths- Over the years of our marriage, Gary has taken me on weekends away, taken kids on camping trips, hikes, coached soccer and on it goes.. He has turned his back on his own hobbies and recreational pursuits… .I am not here to say there is no place for these things. I have seen Gary lay down his life to allow our family to pursue many opportunities that require him to give out and be content with so little for himself. He has I know no better example of godly leadership and service. He has left for himself no reserve for
Magic Johnson is quoted as saying that he thought what would be hardest about his life was playing all the tough athletes on the basketball court… but what he found was the toughest was having to go home and tell his wife he had HIV…