Many years ago, while attending a student event, I found myself engaged in an unexpected conversation. Over sodas and cake, a parent turned to me and asked, “Mary, do you really believe people can change?”
I was taken aback. Such a deep question posed so casually. Do people really change? This question has lingered in my mind, resurfacing time and time again in different seasons of my life.
I often return to it through the lens of self-reflection:
- Am I becoming the person I want to be?
- What are my experiences doing for me?
- What and Who is forming me? Am I becoming more like Jesus?
Pursuing change and transformation can be difficult, even despairing at times. But I have learned that it is not a pursuit of my own making—it is a work of God and mine to hold on tightly to Jesus and His promises. True change, lasting change, is found in that relationship.
Over the past three years, I have been in graduate studies in spiritual formation. I want to deepen my ability to walk alongside others as we journey together toward Christlikeness. In fuller reply to that parent’s question years later, I discovered resources illuminating this transformation path.
One such treasure is Dallas Willard’s Renovation of the Heart. Both practical and profoundly insightful, it speaks directly to our lives condition and capacity for transformation. My coursework required a slow, careful reading—allowing me to absorb its wisdom in ways I might have missed with a casual approach.
Yet even as I study and reflect academically, I continue to wrestle with this question, beginning with myself: Am I changing? Am I becoming more like Christ?
Recently, during a church team meeting, something struck me deeply. Our agenda was packed, and decisions were being made rapidly. Years earlier, I would have taken the speed to mean that we were doing things well, but a sense of unease settled over me as we rushed from point to point.
Then came a moment of clarity: What if, after each decision, we simply held space? What if we embraced silence? What if we slowed things down?
I’m beginning to understand that my growing desire for slowness—and its companion, silence—is part of the answer I’ve been seeking. What unfolds in these quiet spaces often nurtures transformation more powerfully than anything that happens amid the noise.
So, do people change? Can people change? Yes. But how?
Slowly.
Through intentional formation, engaging daily practices.
Through grace.
Through holding space for God to do His work.
I am still learning to embrace this truth, one unhurried step at a time. And in this patience and openness, transformation finds its way—not as a destination we reach, but as a journey we faithfully walk.
Resources mentioned:
Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard
Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice by Jan Johnson. Jan Johnson is a trusted, wise guide who has taken the concepts in Renovation of the Heart and provided practical ways to live those ideas into daily practice.