Doing it scared

I am at the stage of life where the weddings I am honored to attend are our friends’ children. At the most recent wedding I attended, I was sitting with couples who were all finished with their direct participation in educating their children. One woman stated that those years were particularly joyful. What she said next made me pause.

She said, “I would do it over again, and this time I would know what I’m doing.”

I replied, ” I think that’s the whole point – not knowing how to do it.”

That rang true for everyone at the table. For most of us not knowing how to do something, making mistakes and screwing something up produces gut-wrenching fear. The obvious conclusion though is that no one does something they’ve never done before and feels comfortable and able to do it well. If anything we should just boldly assume that the only way something really new and unknown is accomplished is scared, stupid and with fits and starts.

Even though you feel scared when embarking on new, embrace these thoughts when doing something you’ve never done before. They can help you step out into the new and unknown.

• The gain you desire is worth it. A new change, a desired future, a compelling vision must be emotionally and mentally important enough to you to experience the daily discomfort of figuring things out. Your basic needs for safety and worth are challenged when you venture into unknown territory. If the end goal isn’t kept visibly in front, you will eventually give up and forget why you started in the first place.
• The growth you need will only happen outside of what you already know. A smooth path means someone has traveled the way before you. While it is fine to travel smooth paths at some point your goal may not yet have a created path. You may realize you need to venture in a direction that requires cutting through to something new. Even smooth paths can look unfamiliar and strange because you’ve never walked them before. Each new thing you do will grow you to take the next scary step.
• A group of fellow travelers can give you the confidence to keep walking.- while you may think you are the only one walking a path, it is so likely there are others who are a little ahead leaving some trail markers. Whether it’s books, podcasts, in-person conferences or communities, you can find support. You don’t need an “expert in the field.” Someone, a few steps ahead can be a great help as well.

Celebrating each new and unknown you face and step into. I am about to launch something new – an experimental podcast. What is it for you?