It seemed like a good idea at the time. Christmas was coming and the budget was so tight it was squealing. I hit upon a plan to provide a little relief; I asked Mary if it would be ok if we did not give gifts to each other. She agreed and we were all set…. Or so I thought.
After 30ish years of marriage I have learned a few things, very few, and one of those is gift giving and receiving is high on Mary’s list of love languages. I was fine with our plan because gift giving and receiving is close to the bottom on my list of love languages. She set off assembling people’s wish lists and ensuring everyone was taken care of. I checked a few times and she confirmed our agreement was solid.
A week before Christmas Mary was nearly complete with her shopping and began to openly muse about whether any of the kids would think of her. Then came that fateful comment “I know we agreed not to get anything for each other, but I don’t feel loved.”
Having watched the flow of presents coming in I had already correctly guessed that she had not stuck with the agreement and had already purchased a gift for me, and so it was time for action. It was about a week before Christmas and my recent surgery hampered my remaining undetected. I am always challenged to come up with new plans because Mary has a way of obtaining my methods from my helpers (our children). But, I was able to avoid the surveillance and pull off a successful Christmas surprise so Mary could feel loved on Christmas.
So, be willing to change plans especially where love is involved.