Give away

It’s what you give away that goes beyond you.

Andy Stanley

Giving away is often associated with casting off. Everyone at least in this part of the world has gone through an organizational purge. 

You know the wisdom. When working to declutter divide your possessions into three categories.

1. Keep. These are possessions you want to hold on to. You still use, wear or value. 
2. Trash. These are items that are broken, dirty or worn.
3. Give away. These things still have usable value to others. 

It’s amazing that entire industries have grown up around what we giveaway. From consignment stores specializing in clothing, jewelry and home furnishings to mission-driven outfits like Goodwill or Salvation Army. We give away a lot or perhaps I should say we cast away alot. 

Not to diminish the healthy exercise of passing along that which no longer serves us but what if we challenged that idea just a bit. What if we give away that which is still useful to us. What can we learn if we intentionally no longer hold on to something we do value and give it away?

One of the most amazing aspects of my first duty station in the Navy was my role serving in the Philippines as a naval escort officer for visiting dignitaries. One such dignitary served in the house of representative for the Japanese Diet. Matsuoso-san was a big fan of the US Navy in the early 80s. At the end of his visit, I was surprised that he gave me a gift expressing gratitude for the work I’d done creating his in-country schedule and ordering the logistics surrounding it.

If I had really understood the culture, I would’ve anticipated it. A thank-you gift to those who host you with great attention to the gift’s wrapping is quintessential Japanese culture. Pictured below is the closest approximation I could find online of the gift I received. It was a beautiful, unique mabe pearl necklace.

I was in possession of that necklace for a little over a decade when through a large annual event we attended I got to know a Mom going through life-threatening health challenges with her daughter.

I remember the first time the thought came to me, “Give her the necklace.” It seemed so strange. I don’t usually hear those kinds of thoughts so concretely. I knew why giving away the necklace to her made sense. Her name origin meant pearl. Pearls form by irritations, foreign objects embedded in the shell. As a defense mechanism, a fluid is used to coat the irritant. Layer upon layer of this coating, called ‘nacre’, is deposited until a lustrous pearl is formed.

This giving away gifting was my way of providing a needed reminder and encouragement to my friend, “pearl”, that what she was going through could be transformed into beautiful in her life. A tangible testimony of His grace and provision. 

I have to be honest, I thought for quite a bit about giving away something I loved to wear that held a special memory for me. I also worried about how my friend would receive it. But I kept hearing the call, “Give her the necklace.” Not everything about it made sense but I did give it away. All those years ago, I have no touchpoint to know if the gift is remembered or valued. But that isn’t my responsibility with giving away what I cherished… It is given freely without reservation or rearview second-guessing.

This exercise of giving away what is valuable is tricky. Because our biased sense of what we value may be at odds with the receiver’s needs or perceptions.  In addition, sometimes the receiver has a hard time simply receiving unless you take the time to frame the gift much like the beautiful wrapping of my Japanese gift.

Funny things often happen in life if you’re paying attention and able to make the connections. 

This past summer, I had some items stolen while I was attending an annual conference(different organization this time). On the list of items stolen was a necklace. A necklace that had meaning and was a thank you gift for service. It was beautiful with meaning and memories tied up in it. I was saddened knowing it was so unique coming from a country far away much like my given away necklace that it was irreplaceable.  

Imagine my surprise when weeks later, a companion sent me the sister necklace she had received as well with a note that started off… “You may think this is weird but I want you to have this…”

As the note continued, I smiled with recognition. Here was someone who like me heard a voice say,” Give her the necklace.” My friend didn’t hear in a random sense but in a rich context of obedience, relationship, and sacrifice. Relative to what others need around the globe this is, of course, a small sacrifice. However, I know that our small steps to give away small treasures, to invest small amounts of time in others, to share small talents that serve others, that go beyond us build our generosity capacity and make a big difference in our lives and in the lives of others.

From both giving and receiving I take away from my give away three lessons. 

1. Listen to the voice. The same God who asks us to give has so richly blessed us with His gifts. Eph 1
2. Act quickly. While time is on our side, delaying is often a sign of deciding not to act.
3. Ask – What is in my hand to give? He only asks us to give what ours to offer.

Have you ever had the opportunity to give something away special? I’d love to hear your story.