If you have been around me long you will hear me say that literacy is built on two tracks: modeling and repetition. I think there is such a thing as marriage literacy. Learning and doing what is right and good over and over again. I am grateful to have witnessed some wonderful models of marriage. One of my goals this year has been to grow my love for Gary. I got this idea last year to interview couples who have modeled a loving marriage to me and who were married longer than 30 years. I asked them what worked?
Come meet friends who have shown me the way.
Cindy and Chuck – 39 years
Chuck says COMMUNICATION.
Cindy says CONSISTENCY & COMPROMISE.
So, simply put…
Communication – we talk a lot…me much more than Chuck but we do touch base, review, go over things many times through a day.
Consistency – in our spiritual life – our church always says the same things and hearing these truths over and over has been good; our friends have been faithful to what they know to be true and stuck by us in good and hard times; our kids have all commented on the value of being with good friends growing up and they hope to have that now in their adult lives.
Compromise – Chuck and I are very different and often see things differently. We both have had to “give in” numerous times. Not compromising what we believe to be true but being willing to come to a middle ground or let the other have their way if it truly is not that big of a deal.
If you knew what Cindy and Chuck are walking through and saw them together you would know the abiding love they have for each other.
Yvonne and Dana – 39 years
Yvonne says: Being Intentional about being together. Listening to each other’s challenges. We would never play games with each other about what are thinking or feeling. We purpose to just say what it it.
Dana says: We started as friends and that carried us through. The more time I spend with her the better I do.
After losing two children and then finding out we were pregnant with triplets, A good friend asked me, “Do you know the divorce rate for losing a kid?” It was a high number and we had lost two. And then he asked me another question, “Do you know the divorce rate of couple having multiples?” Again a very high number.
I just figured I had already lost so much, I just don’t want to lose anything anymore so I purposed not to lose Yvonne. Grieving is so about you.
Finding friends who are faithful is precious. Finding faithful couples who love and commit to each other over a long time well is like a lifeline.