Conversation before marriage: Gary: How do you want to set up our bank accounts? Do you want separate or joint accounts? Mary: Let’s make them joint accounts so we can talk together! Conversation after marriage: Gary: I don’t see a recording for this check #. Can you tell me what that is about? Mary: I don’t want to talk about it.
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Agreeing and carrying out an agreement are two different things. One of the habits Gary and I agreed on 31 years ago, was going to bed at the same time. From a marriage perspective, there are all kinds of obvious good outcomes. From a health perspective sleep is necessary! It all sounds like a good idea until you have to put it in practice. And that was the rub for me. If the open windows…
Leave a CommentLong-distance dating meant something different back in 1986 before cellphones and the internet. I lived in Rhode Island. Gary lived in Maryland. When we got together weekends were fully packed. One weekend in particular illuminates one of our differences. The cliff walk in Newport hugs one side of the perimeter along Newport’s famed mansions of storied Gilded Age families such as Rockefeller and Vanderbilt. One of our weekends we took that walk. I recall all…
Leave a CommentBefore Gary and I married 31 years ago, we worked together on a list of our agreements in marriage. Long before I realized the power of a habit and long before I understood the power of writing it down. Here’s the list that we can remember. I am sure it was longer but not bad for 31 years later! No TV the first year. Go to bed at the same time. Get up at the…
Leave a CommentWhen it comes to using time to accomplish something worthy, I’ve often thought in terms of the year, the quarter, the week, or even the day. But I have learned that it’s in the smallest unit of time where opportunity for hope and growth lives. This month marks Gary’s and my 31st wedding anniversary. I can hardly believe it—it feels too soon to be this far along! I’m grateful for the miracle of these years,…
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Today marks the 4th anniversary of my dad’s passing. I could write a book about Frank Arland Andrews. For many who read this, they may not have had a dad they’d like to remember. But all of us need to recognize how vital these relationships are to creating our ideas and images of who we are. My dad was not perfect. I remember times when I thought he was a huge pain in the neck.…
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