I really had this vision that our 30th anniversary would be a golden glowing year for Gary and I. Then one of our children landed in the hospital. With a mental disorder.
A golden 30th didn’t happen. It was a false notion to begin with. I thought of this nifty project to interview 30 couples who had been married more than 30 years. Maybe I would hear something that would inspire and reignite me. I could still recover the year.
Here’s what I figured out after six months. The stories were inspiring and I am glad I did them but it wasn’t going to be other people’s stories that revived me. The keys to better, like worse, were in my grasp.
What do I do to make it better? Here are the decisions I take to make it better.
- Presence. When we are together. I strive to be all there. Put down the book. Turn off the phone. I have to set a fierce intention in advance because my struggle is real.
- Time. We go into our room at 9pm Monday through Friday. Close the door. The goal isn’t perfection it is baby steps progress.
When both happen, I have opened the door. Glad to see you better. Stay a while.