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Please Make It Better

I really had this vision that our 30th anniversary would be a golden glowing year for Gary and I. Then one of our children landed in the hospital. With a mental disorder.

A golden 30th didn’t happen. It was a false notion to begin with.  I thought of this nifty project to interview 30 couples who had been married more than 30 years. Maybe I would hear something that would inspire and reignite me. I could still recover the year.

Here’s what I figured out after six months. The stories were inspiring and I am glad I did them but it wasn’t going to be other people’s stories that revived me. The keys to better, like worse, were in my grasp.

What do I do to make it better? Here are the decisions I take to make it better.

  1. Presence. When we are together. I strive to be all there. Put down the book. Turn off the phone. I have to set a fierce intention in advance because my struggle is real.
  2. Time. We go into our room at 9pm Monday through Friday. Close the door. The goal isn’t perfection it is baby steps progress.

When both happen, I have opened the door. Glad to see you better. Stay a while.

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