Repair when the Sun Shines

When I figured out that I was my biggest problem, I also figured out that I could contribute the solution. The best solution I bring to my marriage is being the healthiest version of myself. One of the deeper understandings in this season of my life has been that time is fixed and energy can flex. So often I have acted the opposite. I have acted as if time can flex and energy is fixed.

What does that mean?

In the past, I have neglected eating, resting, and moving all with the idea that if I just give my work (home or vocation) more of me, more of my time I can conquer that mountain of to-do. It was a cycle of waking up overwhelmed that there was too much to do and going to bed defeated that I didn’t get enough done. I wasn’t repairing the roof when the sun was shining, I was quickly burning holes in it and at risk of burning the whole house down.

Time can not flex. It is fixed. There are only 168 hours in the week.

I began to look at my energy and what I could do to fuel that. I have been known as a high energy person but God has a generous way with life circumstances to make sure we realize we need to rest. We need to reflect. We need Him and we need others.

My energy returned when I eliminated activities, projects and even relationships that were not contributing to my larger goals and vision for my home and vocation. I also looked at the time I did have and established routines and habits to “repair the roof” where before I had been spotty and negligent. Habits that involved simple things like drinking water, moving everyday, more standing–less sitting, a mediation practice, scheduling time just to be with those I love.

I still need to pause at the start of the day and intentionally lay aside all the thoughts that bombard me and pull me to immediate action and reflect, “What is most important in this day?”.

What is the one thing that if I do it all the others are either unnecessary or easier to accomplish?

I am sure most of you have figured this out way before me. While my natural inclination is for speed I know that if I want to finish with others I need to slow down.

The time to take self-care is the time you repair so that when the stresses of marriage come and they will come and continue to come, you have put in place some ways to have a strong roof and foundation laid.

Here’s one resource that was immensely helpful to me in this season.