When we lived in Hawaii, I wanted to connect better with each of my children. We lived in military housing in a beautiful pre-WWII neighborhood full of blooming plumeria, hibiscus, and towering royal palms. I would take them one at a time for a walk around the block. As a young parent, I tried too hard to squeeze something meaningful into the time, and often my questions weren’t born from curiosity but trying to drive a spiritual lesson. I had not yet learned the value of being together in silence and enjoying a child-led conversation.
An example of this was a walk I took with my then seven-year-old Andrew. As we began our walk, I said, “Andrew, let’s thank God for what we see.” Walking and waiting only for a few seconds, I said, “Thank you, God, for the plumeria tree.” My seven-year-old replied, “Thank you, God, for the tree’s shade. “
I mused to myself, “I wouldn’t have thought of that.”
We settled into silence for the rest of the walk. I am ashamed to admit I was frustrated my walk wasn’t successful. I grumbled, “What a waste of time.” I deemed I had not heard anything “meaningful” from Andrew.
As we stepped into our driveway, Andrew stopped and pondered,
“Isn’t it amazing how small things come from big things
and big things come from small things.”
Andrew age 7
I was floored and asked back, “Andrew, what do you mean? What small things come from big things?”
“Mom, look at all the mangos around that huge mango tree.”
Behind our house was a grove of mango trees stretching high at least 30 feet. It was a big tree by any standard, and the mango fruit we often enjoyed was small in comparison.
I was suitably stunned. “Okay, so Andrew, what big things come from small things?” He paused only slightly but thoughtfully replied.
“Mom, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia is made up of so many tiny coral animals.”
I was blown away. I had no idea Andrew knew where Australia was, let alone the Great Barrier Reef and the coral that made up the only living thing on earth visible from space!
When I revisit this story, I reflect on a few BIG lessons contained in that small experience:
A seven-year-old has profound insights into the smallest of things. Listen for the insights.
Rushing resists listening and learning. Give space for speech.
My ideas imposed on others choke their undiscovered expression. Seek to expose another’s thoughts.
Perhaps you have gained some insights from my story. I would love to hear them.
What small things do you see coming from big things in and around your life?
What big things do you see coming from the small things in and around your life?
This I know if you are willing to see the world with the same imagination and awe of a young child, big and small things are there for you to notice and enjoy.
I think of a very small thing. A mustard seed. Or a corona-virus germ. And then I think of how these small things can represent faith or cause a global pandemic.
And then I think of the hugeness of the galaxy and remember I am small, but dust. And that the God of the universe could care enough to create me uniquely, out of a current living population of nearly 8 million people. And I am humbled. And then I think he does this uniquely for every other person. Just wow.
nearly 8* billion people, that is!
Love hearing your small things and big things. Thanks for sharing.
“Seek to expose another’s thoughts.” You are the first one to introduced me to this idea and you have modeled it so well! It has caused me to learn to ask questions – open questions that are not leading – and patiently wait for a response. I love seeing how the direction of a conversation can shift and turn just by asking questions to seek to understand more deeply. And it’s always fun to see the light come one when they discover something about themselves!
So many little ideas can lead to a big change.