Signs of the times

Are you experiencing the shift in how we live and connect?

Here is some of what happened in a 24-hour timeframe during my stay at home.

Sign 1 – Important life events disrupted – It was my second wedding to attend on FB live. The first wedding were friends we met in a church small group this past summer. Their May wedding plans were canceled so they opted to get married in March in a friend’s backyard and shared it via Facebook Live. The second wedding, however, was someone we had known since he was two years old. Someone for whom we would willingly drive a distance and spend a weekend celebrating. As we saw COVID19 advance we thought at first we could still attend. Each day like so many days in this pandemic brought new information and constant review of what in former times would be solidly unchanged. But it was New York. Maryland ordered a stay at home. Government workers were required to self-quarantine with any out of state travel. We made the call to stay at home. We watched and celebrated via FB Live!

Sign 2 – Everything you know IRL(in real life) has some virtual alternative. The weekend was beautiful. Nearby our military exchange has a small garden shop that was open. I was able to get flowers for hanging baskets and back porch containers. I was anticipating a full day in the dirt and hoping for some additional help to join me in my endeavor. In response to my invitation to come to the garden, one of mine said, “Let me show you my garden” with all the same pride I had for my backyard. Her garden, however, was on the computer, as part of a fixer-upper program. I tried to give the same kind of polite attention I could tell she gives me. I was also trying to wrap my mind around this. Is this really the same thing? Are you learning anything from this? Is this a generational gap or a sign of the changing landscape of experience. What seemed like the way out there future is here right now and more obvious to me in the midst of the quarantine.

Sign 3 – In crisis even ordinary gets swept into the crisis. I received a phone call at 8:55 pm on FRIDAY night. No big deal. I was snuggled in bed ready to crash, just listening to some music when I heard my phone buzz. I normally wouldn’t have even bothered to look at the number on my phone but between children and older parents, you develop a sense to keep an eye on the numbers that pop up on the screen. If you have an older parent you know the high alert that comes with seeing the number from your parent’s assisted living facility. I answered the call and heard the standard opener from the health care center. Hello Miss Mary, this is not an emergency your mother is fine. I had a report a couple of days ago so I had to wonder what compels you to call me at this time of day and give me a heart attack? The nurse apologized for the call a couple of times which gave me a clue my voice must have been panicked and snappy. I also concluded as the facility had been on shut down to family for the past three weeks that they had been instructed to overcommunicate and of course I had been regularly communicating with them too in the absence of making my regular visits to mom. It seems even ordinary check-ins start feeling tinged with panic and worry.

Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for Facebook Live. I am beyond grateful to be invited and welcomed into a shared experience online with my adult children. I am humbly grateful for the superb care that my mother receives but the times they are changing how we live and connect.

What’s changing for you? What are you noticing?