- Don’t commit.
- Don’t ask for help.
- Forget about it.
You can succeed at failing but you really don’t want to :-). After all, no one begins a venture with the intention to fail at it. My definition of failing is not being willing to make any change in our lives and relationships to make progress on what we know will make our love and life better.
Research shows that the older we get the less likely we are to make changes and set goals. I’m thinking it’s because we’ve become cynical about our ability to succeed as well as we’ve come to believe our limits are bigger than our dreams.
This season of global uncertainty and significant disruption is the right time to reflect and recall what was hoped for in 2020. It’s still possible. It really is.
“Never doubt in the DARK what God told you in the LIGHT.”
V. Raymond Edman
I’ve been pulling apart and thinking about a workout goal I set for 2019. I want to reflect on my success there and see if I can apply the learning to other areas where I’ve seen my limits more than my possibilities.
For many years, working out was a goal I quickly thought about and quickly dismissed. I dismissed it for lots of “good reasons”. Now my point isn’t my workout goal. It is your goal. It’s something you too have been putting off or believing is out of reach. So I want to encourage you don’t start with the all too familiar, “I couldn’t do that.” Start with, “What do I want? Really want!
Here are some steps to get there.
1. Commit.
We think resources are the problem. They aren’t. Commitment is. Resources are never a problem. Never. I have resisted working out for years. It’s because I had a few limiting beliefs. My limiting beliefs sounded like: I don’t have time in my day to work out, I don’t have the energy to work out, I don’t have the money to hire a trainer or pay for classes. Learning to transform those limiting beliefs into a bigger liberating truth helped me to see that I wasn’t willing to see the bigger picture. If something is important enough there is time and energy for it.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Henry Ford
I have also come to realize that a commitment needs a what and why before the how is ever discovered. One way to discover how is fast action on a clear commitment. Within an hour of deciding on my 2019 goal, resources came to mind. I began to think about who. Who had the resources, knowledge, or means to help me to reach my goal? With the commitment came the clarity to realize there was a person in my circle who could help me so I reached out to her. I also realized that I had two free gyms very nearby available to me. It was humbling to realize what I had right in front of me.
2. Ask for help
I knew that I wanted to work out more. I also knew that if I had to research the exercises and come up with a program I would give up. I had energy for the workout not for the creation of the workout. So I worked with a young friend who created the workouts. We use a free app and stay in touch on a monthly basis. This lowered the cost significantly. Even in the midst of social distancing we zoom and have adapted what I already have on hand to continue making progress on the goal.
Help may look different for you. Here’s another example: I used to sew and make children’s clothing. I also loved smocking. The only way I ever finished a garment that involved both construction and smocking is I outsourced one of the steps. I chose the part of the work I was good at and enjoyed. Again think of an important-to-you goal that seems out of reach. Maybe you are trying to figure it out all by yourself. Right now more than EVER there are so many offers of FREE trials and learning programs. With the clear goal look again around you for available help for your goal.
3. Keep it visible
Keeping my goal visible means that I keep a calendar where I schedule appointments with myself. While I knew to do this for years, it has only been recently that I have actually done this. I schedule times to write. I schedule times to work out. I even schedule mealtimes. If I expect it to get done, I schedule it on my calendar. It has made a big difference in making progress day by day.
Visibility also means I keep some easy way to track my progress. I have also resisted this for years however it simply comes to down to noticing where I have failed and where I have succeeded. Doing less of what caused me to fail and more of what caused me to win is only possible through keeping the goal in front of my eyes.
2020 can still be the best year ever for you and for me. I don’t make light of the global pandemic nor of the suffering. However, if we sit in our own corners if we give up on what we can do right now to be the people we need to be for the people who need us most well, then that is in itself the surest guarantee of failing.
As Robert Kennedy said,
If you never quit, you can’t fail.