Meet Raphe. He is my son. Raphe never had a birthday. He died in the womb. He was delivered close to 20 weeks gestation on 25 September 1997. Raphe Day is how I always think of this day now. On his 20th anniversary, I’d like you to know a little about him.
He was my 6th son and the 7th child in our lineup. We found out we were pregnant in the beautiful month of May. I was so thrilled and excited to have a baby born during our duty in Hawaii!
That was before the cancer diagnosis, the chemo, and the crisis.
Raphe was present when I heard the cancer news. He was in the room along with Gary, the oncology nurse, and the oncologist. I remember being asked if I wanted an abortion. I was 16 weeks along. I was in shock, not with the cancer diagnosis but with the offer of abortion so calmly, so matter of factly proffered. How strange that the healthy human would be eliminated to help the sick one. It made so little sense. Couldn’t you cut out cancer rather than my baby? I declined the abortion.
Raphe was present at my staging. Staging is how doctors determine the extent of the disease.
He is the reason I didn’t have the splenectomy. A procedure removing the spleen was routinely done for patients with my type of cancer. In an emergency trauma involving blood loss, the spleen can provide vital reserves. Raphe’s life gave me a higher chance to survive an incident involving blood loss.
Raphe is the reason why I didn’t have radiation and only received chemo. A fact that spared me many short and long-term harmful side effects. Many years later, during follow-up for that cancer, I recall the doctor’s shock in realizing that I had only had chemo given the large size of my tumor. Raphe’s life prolonged my life and decreased my risk of associated secondary cancers due to radiation.
Sometime after diagnosis, determination of medical protocol, and the beginning of treatment, Raphe passed. And while the discovery and delivery were exceedingly difficult, this I know, that Raphe’s days were a full measure of life. In only weeks of life, this boy was responsible for shaping and influencing my recovery and outlook on the rest of my days.
Psalm 103: 1-5
Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.
Raphe means God is my healer. He was named while he was alive. His life is a constant reminder of this Psalm and all its truth and encouragement.
While Raphe will remain a son of mine that you will never meet on this side of eternity, he will always be remembered with love and gratitude by his mother, father, and family on Raphe Day.
Mary, I love you lady. Happy Rapha Day. We have a Georgie Day to celebrate the little one we lost at 11 weeks. We actually have 5 little angels in Heaven in total named Evan, Chris, Kim, Jamie, and Georgie. I know they are all up there loving us and keeping watch over us until we join them.
Love, Jan
Mary, thank you for sharing this beautiful testimony…imagine the impact your son is having on all the people who read your story even 20 years after his brief, yet complete life! Can’t wait to meet him in eternity!! <3
Beautiful, Mary. Thanks for sharing.
What a lovely testimony and beautiful tribute to your little one. Thank you for sharing!
Mary, What beautiful and loving tribute to your dear Raphe. Thank you for sharing such a poignant memory.
How beautiful, Mary, thank you so much for sharing. So much to remember Raphe for, so many blessings from his short life. I love his name, Hod is indeed our healer. ❤
This is a beautiful testimony. I remember his death and the memorial service. We have three little ones that we will meet in Heaven one day. Thank you for sharing this story. Love you, Jamie
Mary, thank you for sharing this beautiful testimony!
Mary I remember this time. We prayed for you at every coop meeting. I prayed for you daily and fervently like I’d never prayed before. I remember when I told you I was pregnant with Esther when Rachel was just 3.5 months old. You were the only one who sounded genuinely happy for me. I never met your sweet boy but I remember him well, and the example of faith and hope you and Gary were to all of us back then. God bless you and all the Gunther’s! ❤️
So meaningful! Thanks for sharing!
Much love to you Sharon who knows well the joys and sorrows of life. Thanks for reading.
Thank you for sharing about the impact sweet Raphe had! What an awesome privilege it is to carry a child in the womb! Whether for 9 months or only a few weeks. What a day of rejoicing that will be when we reunite with all the children that went ahead of us to glory! So glad you chose life that difficult day!
Candy! How wonderful to see your comment. So many memories together in VA. Thanks for reading.
[…] September 25th, I hold my son Raphe in my heart. You can read about Raphe’s story here and learn about the enduring promise of our Hawaiian community to remember him in this post. […]
How beautiful to read the story of Raphe’s life on earth, and your insights into the divine purposes of his life! ❤️✝️