What We Give Away

At funerals we celebrate what people gave away rather than what they kept for themselves.

Andy Stanley

This past weekend, we gathered to honor Gary’s Dad’s life. A life that seems to be at once so ordinary and yet not so.

Bill and Charlotte grew up together all through their primary and secondary school years. He went off to the Navy and as soon as she finished teacher’s college they married. Thus began the moves, the babies and the friendships. What feels extraordinary is the almost 67 years of marriage and the togetherness of Bill and Charlotte. It came with intentional effort to hold it together. Bill and Charlotte weren’t perfect people but they worked at growing and learning how to live a faithful Christian life.

This is the one word for Bill – faithful.

Faithful – Loyal, constant, and steadfast. Similar: true, devoted, true-blue, truehearted, unswerving, unwavering, staunch, dedicated, committed, trusted, trusty, trustworthy, dependable, reliable, obedient, and dutiful. – lexico.com powered by Oxford dictionary.

There isn’t one of these descriptions listed above that doesn’t apply to Bill. On the other side of faithful, you may think stubborn and while that was also true of him, I like to think he was unwavering when it came to his loves -God, his wife, his family, and his country. We think Bill only held on as long as he did through his intense suffering until he was pretty sure his Charlotte was going to be taken care of.

Think of the employee who racks up decades of services at work. That was Bill. He only left the Navy after 20 years because he made a promise to Charlotte that she gracefully extended each reenlistment so he could retire from the Navy. He then went on to serve faithfully for decades at his local church and his local job for the city of Norfolk.

Bill’s faithfulness clearly extended to his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

And while not all of us are present nor is this the most perfect photo of us as you can see our own human brokenness on display yet all of us are united together by Bill and Charlotte and their faithful love to each other and to God.

What was most evident in Bill’s life as it drew to a close over the last few years was his drawing nearer to God and the comfort that brought him. The ever-faithful yeoman in active duty had drawn out very clear lines of how to execute his wishes even to the Scripture passages for his service.

Here are the words that Bill gave to those of us left behind. Don’t skip over these. Soak them in.

I Am the Resurrection and the Life John 11:17-27

¹⁷ So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days. ¹⁸ Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles away. ¹⁹ And many of the Jews had joined the women around Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning their brother.

²⁰ Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house. ²¹ Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. ²² But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”

²³ Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

²⁴ Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

²⁵ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. ²⁶ And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

²⁷ She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

These words, Bill’s life, and the picture above give me hope that in the midst of my falling short, in the midst of my brokenness and in the desire to do extraordinary work maybe its already been happening in the ordinary ways where we love and give ourselves away.